How do I respond when I'm criticized or misunderstood as a leader? This is leading 10. I'm Chris Moore, and let's be real. If you are in leadership long enough, you're going to be criticized and sometimes it's fair, sometimes it's harsh, and sometimes. Well, it's flat out faults. You will be misunderstood, misquoted, misjudged. You can have the right motives still be labeled the wrong way. And in those moments, everything in you wants to defend, explain, get angry and fire back. But as Christian leaders, we are called to a higher response. Let's go straight to the Bible. Romans chapter 12, verse 18 says this, if it'd be possible as much as lieth and you live peaceably with all men, that's a pretty hard statement. You won't always be able to fix it, but you can choose your part. You can live and lead with peace. Even when others don't. Proverbs chapter 15, verse one, adds this a soft answer, turn it away. Wrath, but grievous words, stir up anger. Sometimes your tone carries way more power than your argument does. You know, speaking or screaming doesn't always carry that power that we think that it does. We're leading through fear and through anger. But if we look at the example of Jesus one, Peter chapter two, verse 23 says this, when he was reviled, he reviled not again. When he suffered, he threatened not but committed himself to him that judges righteously. In other words, he didn't respond with what he was getting in modern day terms. He didn't give as good as he got. No, he did something different. Now, if anyone had the right to defend himself, it was Jesus. But he chose silence in many of those moments. Not because he was weak, but because he was firmly anchored. So how do you respond when you're facing unfair criticism or being misunderstood? Here are four biblical steps that can help you respond with confidence and not combat, even if that's your natural way to respond. Step number one, we need to pause before reacting. The first thing that we want to do is we want to defend ourselves and some of us very vigorously. We want to clarify, we want to correct, we want to set the record straight, the wisdom. Often begins with restraint with that silence. How many times we wished that we had before we typed that reply and email, or before we made that phone call, or before we had confronted that person, how often we wished that we would've taken that opportunity to just pause, ask, is this about protecting my reputation? Regarding my heart, take time to pray. Bring your frustration to God first before you bring it to people. Definitely before you throw it right back in their face. You don't have to respond right away. You may not even need to respond at all. Remember, silence is not weakness. It can be wisdom. If there anything that we have learned many times, silence. Is what makes us appear even more as a leader. Step number two, filter the criticism through truth. Not all criticism is created equal. Some of it can be cruel. We definitely learned that as children, some of it is helpful. Hopefully we learned that as children as well. Some of it is actually a gift, and that gift may even be wrapped in a very rough delivery. But if we can see it as a gift, especially if it's true, we need to recognize that. So ask ourselves, is there any truth in what's being said? Even if their tone was wrong the way that they said it, we need to ask ourselves, is there something here that I need to learn? If yes, then let's be thankful to God for the growth for that opportunity. If no, we do what the Lord told us to do, we shake the dust off. And we move forward. But either way, we cannot let the criticism harden our hearts. We don't need to be like Pharaoh in Egypt. We need to let it refine us, but we don't need it to define us. It needs to refine you, but not define you. Step number three, respond with grace, not with defensiveness. This is where Proverbs chapter 15, verse one, comes alive. A soft answer, turn it away. Wrath. You don't have to match their energy. You don't have to correct every detail as a child. Go back to, to being a child again. But I think about my father, my dad, and the times that he would just look up a little bit. And a single word son. And in that soft word, far more was communicated than what Any amount of yelling, screaming, forcefulness, a simple look and a simple word. So much more. So maybe we can simply say. Hey, thanks for sharing that with me. Let me take some time to reflect on this or, look, I appreciate your concern. I'm gonna pray and process that before I respond to this. What does that do to the other person? Well, it kind of disarms them. It takes this posture that they have and it's going to turn away most critics, and it speaks volumes to the others who are watching on at this event. Remember how you respond publicly often matters more than what was said privately. Step number four, anchor your identity in God, not in public opinion. This is the heart of it. If your identity is tied either to people's praise or to their criticism, you're going to get crushed. But if your identity is rooted in Christ, you can stay steady no matter what people say, Jesus didn't panic when people turned on him. He didn't chase approval. He did not demand to be understood. He just kept walking in his calling. Even though that calling for him led to the cross, it also led to our salvation. You can do the same. The truth is you are not as good as your fans say that you are, but you're also not as bad as your critics claim, but you are exactly who God. Says that you are. So let me give two traps to avoid trap. Number one, letting criticism create bitterness. That's a difficult one. You replay the words, you hold a grudge, you let it shape how you lead, and that's poison. Poison that can last your entire life. For those of us that have children, we can see we're single events, single words things spoken can mean a lifetime of effect. Especially if that turns into bitterness, bitterness about others, or even bitterness about themselves. Bitterness never leads to clarity. It only clouds our vision, our vision of others, our vision of ourself, our vision of what God would have for us in the world. So forgive even if they never apologize. Forgiveness is not. Doing it for them. You're doing it so you can stay free. If you cannot forgive someone else for something, you're also still living in that moment and giving it power that it should not have. Trap number two, overcorrecting your leadership. To avoid that criticism, some leaders go into hiding after being misunderstood. They just disappear. They stop making decisions. They may even water down the true sum. They lead from fear instead of from purpose. Don't let one person's opinion detour you from the God-given direction that you're taking. You do maybe need to look and see, am I still in the right direction? If you are. Keep going. Yes. Receive that feedback. Yes. Stay humble, but don't lose your voice just because someone did not like what you had to say, or even your volume. Let's land with a reflection and challenge. Is there a piece of criticism I'm still carrying that I need to release to God today? Is it something that you heard a long time ago? Is it a belief about yourself that you really got from someone else other than God? Then write down that one critical comment, that event, that moment that has stuck with you and write over it. This no longer defines me. God does say a short prayer, release it, give it to him, and move forward in freedom without it. We can't stop criticism. We can't stop the events of the past, but we can rise above them. We just have to choose to do so and move towards and with God, lead with humility, respond with grace whenever we can, and let your character do the talking more than you. This is leading 10. I'm Chris Moore. Thanks for joining me today. I hope this episode encouraged you to lead with a little bit of. The peace in the face of the pressure that we're under to, to take a moment to look at some of those harsh things that may have happened in our lives and leave them behind and move forward with God's plan. If you would take a second to like and subscribe, to this and share it with someone else. We'll be back next time with more biblical wisdom for real world leadership. I'll see you soon.